The hardwork matters whether you believe it or not. Because the time that you spend doing nonsense or productive work is what determines a lot. Sitting around watching netflix and watching the game is not helping you. If you are playing the victim mentality that is not doing you any good.
For example as graphic designers and creative people we can be so hard on ourselves. Which then will lead us to believing that we are not good enough. then will lead us to want to give up. As a creative person our gift can be a gift and a curse. But focus on appreciating that gift.
Do not go around wasting it and not putting it to good use. The same goes for anything else you do. Why would you want to let something go and die. If you let it die you would not be able to see its full potential. Just think of the returns you would get as a designer.
There are many people who have never gave 100% in their career and probably never will. But that is ok for them to do. The reason why I say that is because you are better than them. I do believe that if we dedicate ourselves to being a better graphic designer, interior designer, calligrapher or whatever we will see results.
Now go and execute and stop talking but not doing what you talk about. If you talk about being so deep and etc none of that matters if you are not living what you speak about.
Design and calligraphy 